


In this place (we're all made of stardust)

by Lazy_Sunsets



Series: With Everything that Falls Apart [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Fear, Instrospection, during v8, too many thoughts for one Ruby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27897628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazy_Sunsets/pseuds/Lazy_Sunsets
Summary: After Blake left the room, no doubt to try calling Yang again, Ruby finally had the chance to sit alone and think.orThe moment where Ruby allows herself to fear.
Series: With Everything that Falls Apart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042812
Kudos: 22





	In this place (we're all made of stardust)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there. So, this happens during v8 but before episode 5. Don't worry, there are no spoilers here. I hope you enjoy
> 
> I wrote this because until now V8 has not enough angst.

After Blake left the room, no doubt to try calling Yang again, Ruby finally had the chance to sit alone and  _ think _ .

It had been so long that she had forgotten what it felt like to be truly tired. Or perhaps she’d been supressing such feelings until now, with her resistance worn down like stone against the tide.

She couldn’t tell anymore. Before, in Beacon and during the travels that followed, she was so busy there’d been no room for malingering thoughts. Now, though, it was all she had to fill her mind. Her memories were the only thing left to define her, her goal all she had left to her name. 

If no one called for her, was she still _her_? If no one longed for her opinion, then who was she? Was she brave, or a coward? And of those, whom was it in comparison to?

She turned the events of those days over and over, like they were wooden play blocks carved with letters and pictures. Each side of the block was different from the other, with unique thoughts and memories. She thought about what they might think, what they might’ve done differently. If she had been stronger, faster, more clever, if she’d been more, maybe all of this could’ve been avoided.

If she hadn’t thought she knew what was best, she might have been able to prevent this all from happening.

Or maybe it was beyond her control. Maybe this was what they call destiny, and beating against it with clumsy fists made no difference. 

Ruby tried to remember when she’d last spent a day outside, stretched beneath the sun, but those sensations escaped her.

She couldn’t remember warmth, or peace. She knew there’d been a time when her mind wasn’t a constant wheel of thoughts, but it was like that had never happened. If Ruby couldn’t remember it, and no one cared to say it was true, had it really happened?

She clung to memories, to daydreams, to fascinations. The fairy tales Yang used to read before sleep. Weiss coming to check on her. Some mysterious help appearing from thin air.

How long had it been? How much time had she spent, staring into the walls, with fears twirling like an ouroboros inside her head?

It felt wrong, disrespectful even, to allow herself that moment of fear while her friends and others all around Mantle were actually truly doing something to help.

If this was loneliness, then surely the opposite was fulfillment.

If this was fear, then its absence must mean peace.

If this was exhaustion, then its alternative must be equally all-consuming.

In the end, no one called for her, no one came to check if she needed something.

So she took a deep breath, got up, and walked by herself.


End file.
